Respect is one of the key ingredients in a successful relationship. Without respect, the relationship deteriorates. My marriage is a good example. When I married my husband, he had a dream. He was going to own a chain of auto body shops. He was passionate about his dream, and I believed in him. I was proud to be marrying a future successful businessman. Unfortunately, he gave up on his dream without giving it a chance. He didn't even get a job doing auto body. He was so busy coming up with excuses why they wouldn't hire him that he never applied. Not only did he not get a job doing what he loved; he had trouble keeping any job at all.

My daughter was born six months after we married, and by the time she was three months old I was working full-time to support us because he couldn't, or wouldn't, do it. I quickly lost my respect for him. I began to resent him, and eventually grew to hate him. The resentment was due to my lack of respect for him.

The hate was due to his lack of respect for me. My ex seemed to get some kind of satisfaction out of making me miserable. He constantly yelled, complained and criticized.

Instead of respecting me, he saw me as something to control or conquer. He mistreated me. If both partners respect one another, they will not tear one another down.

Think about the kind of man or woman you would respect. What qualities must that person have? For me to respect a man, he must be intelligent, caring and responsible. He must be someone I can turn to when I need advice. Most importantly, he must also respect me. 

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